How do I support a friend who has disclosed being in an unhealthy relationship?
Listen to Understand.
Be there for your friend and give them your undivided attention. Seek to understand what is happening and what they are feeling.
Believe
Believe what your friend is telling you. It takes a lot of strength and courage to come forward.
Do not judge
Be careful not to make judgements about the situation they are in or the decisions they have made so far
Be supportive
Support their feelings as well as their decision to share them with you. Acknowledge it would have been difficult for them to do so.
Tell the victim that the abuse is not their fault
It is not uncommon for survivors to feel they have done something wrong. Continue to remind them that the abuser is the one at fault
Provide resource information
Encourage them to approach trusted family, friends, or professionals (within or outside of SMU) for help. Offer to accompany them for an appointment if necessary
Protect their privacy
Except for informing another adult or professional to get support for your friend, and particularly if the victim is in danger, remember it is not your place to tell others about the abuse
REMEMBER:
You need to respect your friend’s decision and let them handle the situation at their own pace.
You have to understand that it can be very difficult to break out of an abusive relationship due to various different reasons, and many individuals can end up trapped in a cycle of violence.
Do not feel responsible to end the situation as it is still your friend’s relationship and he/she will have to make the final decision by him/herself.
IF YOU ARE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP…
Approach a trusted family member, friend or professional for help. Make an appointment with Voices@SMU by emailing voices@smu.edu.sg if you wish to talk to someone about viable options.